


the girl is detached

by sapphfics



Category: Humans (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Child Abuse, Childhood Trauma, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-11 11:37:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12934449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphfics/pseuds/sapphfics
Summary: “What about your parents, Laura?” Joe’s mother asks, smiling as she hands over a plate of food Laura couldn’t dream of making.“They’re dead,” Laura replies, because it’s easier than telling the truth, because she doesn’t want them to pity her, because the last time she tried to tell anyone about her mother the police sent her home with a synth and she watched her mother melt the machine to death with a hot iron.“Oh, I’m so sorry dear,” His mother says, looking embarrassed. She puts a hand on Laura’s shoulder in comfort.“It’s okay,” Laura lies. “I’m over it.”Or: Laura, growing up.





	the girl is detached

**Author's Note:**

> warnings for child abuse, child death and general angst.

There’s something so innocent about childhood. Eleven years old and full of dreams, Laura sits on the pavement and watches her brother kick his football. Her mother sits on the phone, gossiping and ignoring them both.

Her mother is not very good at loving, but Laura wants to believe she can fix her.

Tommy’s scream as the car smashes into him never leaves her dreams.

She never sees her mother smile again.

-:-

_Do you ever get scared?_

_I think we all do._

-:-

Watching Tommy as he’s wheeled into the operating room is the first time Laura’s ever been scared of more than the horror films her father watches, or monsters under the bed, or of the boys who pick on her and then claim to like her.

Tommy dies alone on the operating table and Laura is no longer a girl.

-:-

The night after Tommy’s funeral, her mother burns all the photos of her brother amid piles of cigarette ash, and as soon as she can Laura dumps her glass of filthy tap water over it.

She can only save one.

-:-

She’s sixteen, picking up beer bottles off the floor, watching her mother waste away.

“It’s your fault he’s dead,” Her mother hisses and Laura wants to retch at the stench of alcohol in her breath. “Should’ve given you up the second we had him. That’s what your dad wanted to do, you know? I told him he couldn’t cause at least you could give him grandchildren, but who’d wanna marry a child killer?”

Laura doesn’t respond. It’ll only make it worse if she responds.

“I got good marks in my English test today,” Laura says, if only to fill the silence. “My teacher says -“

“I don’t care what your teacher says,” Her mother snaps back. “Only reason you even go to that school is to get you out of my sight. Girls who kill their little brother’s don’t deserve educations, I say.”

“I know, Mum.” Laura says.

She still tries in school, because her mother may not care, but it’s her only hope of escaping her. She never tells her friends because there’s nothing they will be able to do.

“We all become our parents, eventually.” Her friend says like an inevitable prophecy and Laura holds back a scream.

-:-

She leaves her mother at eighteen, in the middle of the night, with her acceptance letter to university and her brother’s photograph tucked in the back of her jeans. Her only possessions are tucked in a bin bag, everything she has ever owned, everything that has ever mattered.

She doesn’t bother looking back because she knows her mother won’t care.

-:-

She meets Joe in a supermarket outside her law school. He almost runs her over with his trolley, and she can’t help but think of Tommy.

“Oh my god, I’m so so sorry,” He says, and then he notices her crying and stops. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” She lies, because she has to. “Allergies.”

“Let’s start over, okay? Hi, I’m Joe,” He says, and holds out his hand. “Joe Hawkins.”

“Laura,” Laura replies. She doesn’t give her last name, even though no one knows who her mother is. She wants to leave her past behind her.

-:-

Joe takes her home to see her parent’s and she tries to stop her shaking hands.

“Don’t worry,” Joe tries to reassure her as he drives. “My parents will love you, I promise.”

 _My mother never loved me,_ she thinks, _I’m poison. They’ll hate me._

His parents smile as they greet her, and it’s strange to have someone other than Joe like her.

She helps his mother with the washing up, the radio like white noise.

“What about your parents, Laura?” Joe’s mother asks, smiling as she hands over a plate of food Laura couldn’t dream of making.

“They’re dead,” Laura replies, because it’s easier than telling the truth, because she doesn’t want them to pity her, because the last time she tried to tell anyone about her mother the police sent her home with a synth and she watched her mother melt the machine to death with a hot iron.

“Oh, I’m so sorry dear,” His mother says, looking embarrassed. She puts a hand on Laura’s shoulder in comfort.

“It’s okay,” Laura lies. “I’m over it.”

-:-

One morning, she looks at her family eating breakfast, and swears she will not let history repeat itself.

**Author's Note:**

> this sucks lmfao but i’m sad and love laura hawkins


End file.
